I have noticed that most people (myself included) share their journey through an intense period of time after the fact, once there has been time to reflect and they can mirror back a shift in perspective and the lessons learned.
While I think this is beautiful, and commend anyone for showing up with vulnerability and their truth, this doesn’t feel like an option for me anymore. I’m dealing with an intense period of healing in my life while simultaneously growing a business and the truth is, hiding doesn’t serve me or you.
Two years ago, when I was diagnosed with Ramsay Hunt Syndrome and lost mobility on the right side of my face, I never imagined it would take this long to heal. That for two years I would look at my reflection every day and question who the person looking back at me is.
The process of healing from Ramsay Hunt has been very confronting — connecting on the deepest of levels to who I am outside of my physical appearance, the reality that I have been sick for most of my life and what that has meant, the trauma that wants to be healed and the dedication needed to not just take care of myself but to fulfill my dreams.
It is a constant dance of heaviness and lightness. The balance of loving every moment I am supporting clients, writing and creating content while not pushing my body past its temporarily sensitive limits.
I want to share what that looks like with you but I’m honestly not sure how. And truth be told, I wonder if anyone cares to know. If by picking up the camera and saying hi, this is what I am going through today and it is really hard, is supporting anyone or contributing in a positive way to this community.
There have been more times than I can count where I record a video to share and upon seeing the lack of mobility in my face, I immediately delete it (and if I’m being totally honest this is followed by a long cry).
The truth isn’t always pretty but this is mine.
Sharing my experiences with this community has given me a lot of purpose on this journey, and I am ready to show up even more. (To be clear, this isn’t a sympathy post but instead, my way of saying this is what is going on in my life, I want to be more open about it, but don’t know how. And that's okay.)
If any of this resonates, I'd love to hear from you. Over the years, I've learned so many tools and it's part of my purpose to share them with you. With this post, I'm committing to stepping out of my comfort zone to share value with you as I share my truth. Comment below or email firstname.lastname@example.org.
Really grateful for each and every one of you.