Last week, I shared the deeper healing I am moving into and dietary changes I have made over the last few months to support my healing journey. Today, I want to talk about shame. It is an emotion I have been working through a lot lately. When the emotion of shame comes up it always catches me off guard, swiftly entering my brain and causing a domino effect of emotions. It keeps me in hiding, feeling small and unworthy. Shame might translate in different ways for you, maybe it is fear of judgment, embarrassment or not wanting others to find out certain parts of who you are. Today, I am letting shame out of the closet because it is time to take our power back.
Inspired by my sessions based on the practice of Cultivating Inner Awareness, stepping into our most whole, authentic self and giving ourselves permission to be the fullest expression of who we came to this Earth to be, I can’t think of anything more powerful than owning our darkness. This is the side we all carry that so many of us often suppress because at times it feels unbearable to deal with. If you can take away just one thing from this post, I hope it is this, we are all going through it in some way. We are all human, doing the very best we can. It is by owning our shadow, the light and the dark, that the real healing begins and we can release the stories that are holding us down and therefore release ourselves from limiting beliefs that keep us small.
The first step in letting go of shame is confronting it, facing it head on so it loses its power. This can be sharing it with a trusted family member, friend, teacher, mentor, professional mental health counselor, or even to start off just writing it in your journal. Or, if you feel called to, you can write about it on a public platform. Whatever will support you in healing.
In the spirit of sharing …
The shame I have been feeling lately has been around my healing journey from Ramsay Hunt Syndrome after losing mobility on the right side of my face over one year ago (more on this story here). When shame comes up for me I am suddenly questioning my capability to heal. Whether or not I will ever feel like myself again. I feel shame around the emphasis I give my physical appearance. That with everything going on in the world this is important to me. I feel shame that I fought for my life through a bone marrow transplant and this is what is bringing me down. I feel shame around what I believe others are thinking of me, the stories I have created that they will say, that it is my fault I am in this situation in the first place for working too hard and being under too much stress. And on and on and on.
All of these stories! We all have them. When they come up I stop to witness them, to journal, to meditate to sit in the emotional muck of it all and ask myself what there is to learn from this. What does it look like to forgive? To trust in the Universe and feel in every ounce of my being that I will heal and achieve everything I dream of?
Taking back our power …
Shame can show up in an infinite amount of ways, from being embarrassed by physical appearance to a current financial situation, feeling like you said the “wrong” thing in a social situation or even not being the friend you know you can be. It is when we shine a light on our shame that we take the power back.
I recently watched the documentary Heal, it really hit home for me. The power our thoughts, feelings, and emotions have on our ability to heal. We are insanely powerful. I know in every ounce of my being I was put here on this Earth to have these experiences and empower not only myself but anyone who wants to listen that YOU are powerful beyond measure. The first step in accessing this is Cultivating Inner Awareness.
This process is a lifelong journey. It is not easy to write about the dark times but I know it is so necessary. I am sharing this because the only way to release shame is to own it. To forgive. To make space for self-care every day so that we can do the things that make us happy. Go inward, meditate, journal, lean on teachers, mentors, trusted family, and friends. The only way to heal is to become aware and begin the process of fully owning all sides of ourselves, the light and the dark.
For me, healing is all of the above plus sharing with you. Wherever you are reading this, if you have ever felt or are currently feeling any of this in any way, please know you are not alone.