A part of me wants to say this post is long overdue, but the words and inspiration always come exactly when they are supposed to. Today, on my birthday (and Earth Day!) I feel called to get a bit more personal on my blog and open up my heart. I’ve got a BIG announcement that has been years in the making and I can’t wait to finally share it with all of you!
First, I want you to know what I’ve been up to. I recently took an unexpected hiatus from the online world and stepped back into my reality. I took a good look at myself, what I wanted and where I was going. I saw the ways in which I was living in my comforts and coming from a place of fear. These months have turned out to be some of the most transformative of my life and left me with a renewed energy and new perspective of what is important to me. I am thrilled to be sharing more of my journey on Jewels of a Dreamer and feel so lucky to have this platform as an outlet for growth and creativity.
The beginning . . .
I am not sure the exact moment it happened, but I just hit a point where I couldn’t do it anymore. The constant planning, projecting what I will want & need tomorrow or the next week or even next year. I was organizing to-do lists and overwhelming myself with the need to feel connected through social media and be present in my day-to-day life. Metaphorically speaking, I threw up the white flag and decided that this way of living was just not sustainable. I knew if I wanted to find true happiness and make a difference, changes were going to need to be made.
For me, this was all about avoiding the one thing I didn’t want to deal with – how I was feeling in that moment. From what I needed to eat and what outfit I felt best in, to how my body wanted to move and what I felt inspired to create. I began fearing emotions like sadness, trauma and even happiness. I wasn’t able to give myself what I needed and honor those needs without judgment.
We constantly have experiences that change and shape our lives, whether in a positive or sometimes traumatic way. From my perspective, these moments don’t just come and go. They need our attention to truly process and understand what they mean. Everything from health struggles to a conflict between friends or family. They have the ability to leave lasting imprints on us which can either be a way for us to grow and learn or can become subconscious thought patterns that will present themselves again at some point in our lives.
My spiritual journey began four years ago as I was experiencing health struggles at the beginning of what was and still is a lifelong journey to healing, feeling good and taking care of myself. Through this journey and up until this point, the idea of wanting to be perfect and keep it all together has been something I just could not release.
When I push aside all the bullshit, emotions, planning and “me me me story” it comes down to two words: LETTING GO
My word for this year that reminds me how I want to feel is FREEDOM. Freedom in my work, body, mind. Freedom in my life. I knew I couldn’t achieve this without releasing and letting go of the hold I had on every outcome. I needed to start being a little nicer to myself, getting comfortable in the body I was in right now and, most importantly, stop rushing my process. The freedom would come, but I needed to put in the work.
It was not until I reached out for support that I truly began to heal. When I completely surrendered and fell on my knees, sharing that I just could not do this alone anymore. That is when the support I needed came into my life. As women, we must ask for support and lean on each other. Having the right teacher, mentor and confidant will change your world. It will give you the tools to get through anything.
The healing didn’t happen overnight, change and growth require a lot of hard work and dedication. It is a journey I am now on that will never end. I reached out for support, have stayed consistent in my kundalini practice and kept the promise I made to myself to work hard every day and dedicate myself to an existence where I feel calm and in-tune with myself and my emotions.
I honestly think social media is incredible. I have met some of my closest friends through Instagram and because of this platform I have the opportunity to create my dream online business. But it can also have its negatives. It is all in the way you use it. My life became too much about showing up online, and I just needed it to stop and recalibrate. I needed to take a break in order to find balance and have fun with it again. Rather than feeling like I have to document everything, now I share when I feel most inspired to.
I want to use this platform to share my authentic experiences with you. Yes, I love to take pictures and make things visually appealing. It inspires me and it’s one of my greatest joys. It is also just as important for me to share the not so pretty parts of my life, like my deep healing work, the trial and error I experience as I figure out what works and the lessons I learn along the way.
This online pause has also given me many gifts: time to think, dream bigger and make space for work that lights me up in ways I never thought possible. Work that energizes me and that I am able to package up and release through my blog and clients.
Bringing you to present day
Now that I feel myself coming out the other side, I am bursting with excitement to share what I have been up to and the tools I have been using. This list is an overview of the ways I have been taking care of myself; upcoming posts will get into more detail about holistic remedies, products, and the tools I will continue to use. My goal for this platform has always been to share my life authentically, transparently and to inspire conversation around the importance of self-care.
As I mentioned, asking for support was the pivotal move that helped me launch my healing into the stratosphere. You are not in this alone, I REPEAT, you are not in this alone. Reach out to mentors and coaches that inspire you (I work with Taylor EyeWalker and she is incredible), talk to friends, loved ones and your community.
I have also found an intense sense of energy by giving support. Being there for my fiancé, friends and family in their time of need, showing them acts of kindness or just letting them know I am thinking of them. Giving support is just as important as receiving support.
Dan and I have been together for almost seven years, and we have continued to evolve together in ways that never cease to amaze me. Planning dates, activities, trips and carving out time for just the two of us (preferably with no technology when we can!) is something we prioritize. Keeping communication open and making sure we work together allows us to stay connected and grow side by side.
I feel very lucky that I have had the ability to travel more in the last year. I really focused on manifesting this and any chance I get to see a new place is exciting and energizing. I can’t wait to continue to see more of the world and share those adventures on this platform.
It has now been a little over a year since I fully emerged myself in my practice of Kundalini and my life has been forever changed. In my work with Taylor I am assigned readings + meditations specific to me which I complete every morning. I also take classes at rama-tv.com and Golden Bridge Yoga in NYC.
All of these items on the list are self-care in my book but what I mean specifically is how I am taking care of my body. At home spa days with my favorite natural products ranging from 10 minutes of dry brushing and abhyanga to a few hours of face masks, hair treatments and product experimentation on the weekends. Taking time to pick out an outfit I feel good in, going for walks, trips to the farmer’s market. Stocking my fridge with fresh fruits and veggies, playing music/mantra and actually enjoying the process of chopping, cutting and creating a meal. Filling my home with things that make me happy and feel good. And last but not least, naps! Not feeling guilty about when I need to rest. I am pretty useless to everyone if I am exhausted or constantly on-the-go. I have stopped feeling bad because I just need to watch movies or take a siesta and this has given me even more energy when I am working or socializing.
DEEP HEALING WORK
I have yet to release my full health story but promise I am almost done with it. It is really long right now, and I am trying to narrow it down to what is most important to me. The short of it is, four years ago my world turned upside down when I was diagnosed with severe aplastic anemia and underwent a lifesaving bone marrow transplant. From this point on I was cracked open and have been working every day to heal both my mind and body. Some of it I mentioned above, the rest of it I will be sharing soon.
NEWEST ADDITIONS TO OUR HOME
Dan and I recently got two bengal kittens, and they have been the sweetest new addition to our home. They are brother and sister and their names are Bodhi and Zoey. They are my first pets so I am learning as I go! With these new additions, there has been a shift in routine in our home, so I am adapting to that and enjoying this new energy. Get ready for lots of pics to be shared.
MEANINGFUL FRIENDSHIPS, CONVERSATION AND FACE-TO-FACE INTERACTIONS
This one is HUGE and without a doubt the biggest game changer. Making time for my friends, meeting in-person (or Skype/face-time if they aren’t local) fills me with so much happiness. My friends are everything to me and through this tribe of intelligent, beautiful and like-minded women I am constantly reminded of the strength we all have inside of us.
SCHEDULING ONLINE TIME + CONNECTING WITH MY COMMUNITY
After some time away I realized with a fresh perspective how much I LOVE connecting with my community and meeting new people through my blog/social media. This time away has shown me that this needs to be a priority for me. I’ve learned that it is so important for me to check-in every day, I just can’t be doing it all day, every day!
THE LAUNCH OF MY COACHING PRACTICE (!!!)
This has been a long time coming, and I am literally jumping up and down with excitement to share Dreamer Style Sessions with you. I have been dreaming of doing this work for over four years, and I am SO ready to jump in.
I want to work with you to understand the energy behind the clothes you wear, define your personal style, make sustainable fashion choices and curate a wardrobe that lights you up. Email me at email@example.com to be notified of the official launch date!!
It truly feels like I am coming out the other side and ready to share myself on my blog and in this space in a brand new and authentic way. I finally feel like my work fits into my life rather than me trying to fit my life into it, and that feels deeply inspiring. I hope you will join me for, in what my heart, feels like a rebirth of Jewels of a Dreamer + the launch of my coaching practice.
The future looks bright, and I am so thankful you are here!